After missing last night’s episode I’m so pumped for tonight’s American Idol! Missing last night was like when I first started losing my hair, I knew it was out there, but I just couldn’t see it!
Tonight’s up is in Los Angeles! I’m so excited! Did I ever tell you about my trip to L.A? Yeah I thought I had mentioned it. I think it was fitting that right before this episode I watched my first episode of Friday Night Lights, and in one of the scenes I could hear Kellie Pickler’s Red High Heels in the background of the department store.
10:03pm I thought you couldn’t audition if you already had a recording contract you couldn’t try out! Then why is Kevin Federline trying out, ahh well at least they gave Xentric cool sound effects. But what happened to his other half of the goatee. Spread the love leopard boy, spread the love.

10:06 American Idol is supposed to be looking for originals aren’t they? So far tonight we’ve seen Kevin Federline and Barry White. Come on where are the Kelly Clarksons! Hell at this point I’d take a Nikki Mckibbon.

Flashback Moment:

“I’m Nikki! Remember me? Anyone? Nevermind.”

Back to the show…..

10:15: Begging is not classy Mariana. And tell your mom to stop talking about the weird noises you made when you were in her womb. No one likes a womb-talker.

10:17 Ladies this is a public service announcement: Please do not beg simon to go on your knees. The end result will most likely be not what you expect and will require a shower.
10:20 Oooooo, I liked that Helena girl. She kinda reminds me of Canadian Idol winner Eva Avila, wait is that a good thing?

10:25 Do they have a medic on site? The “Dancing in the street” girl is having a seizures. Great now I really could go for a caesar. Mmmm.

10:30. PAULA KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS! FOR GOD SAKES! He’s just a backup singer! Yes he’s good and a nice person, but Paula, he was born the year your started doing American Idol!

10:32: During the commercial I flicked to Quebec’s Deal or No Deal. They have female and female models! Who knew?! The top prize is only $500,000. I guess male models, like myself, are more expensive.

10:40 During Sherman’s story I couldn’t help but notice that Paula was crying. Or was she leaking? Either way FILL HER CUP!

10:45 They are from Compton? There’s a shocker. Apparantly they don’t have hotels in Compton. Or weight-watchers. (Sorry that was below the belt, it’s getting late.)

10:46 Did anyone notice Ryan Seacrest is wearing mascara?

10:47 Does that guy have what the kids are calling kronck (chronc? kchronck?) on his teeth? I should get me some of that.

10:58 Wait. A. Minute. Paula and Randy have a DVD!?!? I need this DVD. I need it now.

Oh thank god the Auditions are done next Tuesday! I was disappointed by L.A. but I’m holding off my predictions until Hollywood weak. Um I mean week. right.

Thanks for reading!

Mike Morrison