>Life is not fair. It’s not easy. Its not supposed to be. Every week Meredith Grey or Mary Alice remind us of this, albeit in a fancier more narrative form. You would think after so many viewings this would stick in my head. But it doesn’t. Sometimes things happen that seem to unplausable that there is no way to prepare yourself. No way to get ready for the awfulness of what is to come. This weekend the awfulness took the shape of a DVD and called itself The Break Up. That’s right on a normally uneventful Saturday afternoon Jen Aniston and her boyfriend Vince “Was that a step down Jen, or a giant fall?” Vaughn rudely invaded my tiny living room. Filling it with pointless yelling, crying, arguing, more yelling…oh wait is that Jason Bateman…he’ll save me….oh no he’s helping them…stop kicking me Jason…I liked Arrested Development!

Before I knew it 2 hours had passed and the credits on this movie were rolling and I was saddened and slightly bruised. Where did this movie go wrong? And do people actually like this movie? It made me sadder than the time that the barber held up the mirror revealing without a doubt that I was balding. How do movies like this get made? When I see movies like this, it makes me thing of how much the studios infringe the writers original product. I imagine at one point this movie was funny/charming, how else would everyone sign up? But somewhere down the line this movie got chopped up faster then a poor little boy at a Bar Mitzvah.

Ever since Magnolia where we are introduced to a character that listen’s to “Dreams” all the time in his car, I’ve always thought about the weirdos out there that love a certain movie or CD so much they consume their life with it! I can’t help but wonder if there is a lonely woman out there that sits on the floor with her cats, where they discuss their favorite points of the Breakup. I mostly feel bad for the cat!

Also as of today here are the things I’ve learned over the past 48 hours.

-Jokes about Product Red–>Aids (Gap, Ipods) are not funny yet.
-Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock broke up. Yeah I win $10
-Hilary Duff and Joel Madden broke up. Boo, I lose $200

Everyone please bow before Veronica Mars and her wicked preview of tomorrow’s kick ass “Who is the Rapist?” finale. Contrary to most online betting sites, it is not me! Even if you’ve never seen an episode, watch this video and tell me you aren’t in love!

Mike Morrison

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