Please don’t read unless you have watched the season finale of Desperate Housewives.

So last night after watching the hockey game, reading Maxim, drinking beer and scratching myself I happened to notice that the 2 hour finale of Desperate Housewives was on.  Seeing as how I had nothing else on the go, I figured why not?  This season has had it ups (Kathryn’s secret life) and downs (being wasteful with Gaby).  But for the most part it has been far more enjoyable than the last couple of seasons so I was looking forward the season finale because this is when they bring out all the stops!
The finale answered a lot of questions.  Mostly about new neighbor Kathryn and her shady past.  Which it turns out included an abusive husband, an accidently killed daughter (that’s why I don’t read people!) and a romanian orphanage.  But the biggest shock of the night came at the very end when DH creator Mark Cherry dug himself out of a writer’s block but jumping the ladies of Wisteria Lane 5 years into the future.
Me thinks I sense it’s troubling times when you copy the same time shifting device as One Tree Hill.
So the last three minutes of the season caught up with the ladies 5 years after the gaybours held their commitment ceremony.  Bree is a successful author who talks to her son about bathing with her husband Orson.  Lynette’s family is a troubling as ever, only this time it’s not the shipped off Kayla.  It’s the troublesome duo of Parker and Preston who have already been to Juvi.  Kathryn is still around too (poor forgotten Betty Applewhite), and her daughter Dylan just got engaged under the Eiffel Tower.  Gaby now has TWO kids and has let herself go.  It was definitely solid to see that both her daughters could easily be stand ins for Ugly Betty.  And finally we saw Susan being welcomed into her home and into the arms of….someone who isn’t Mike.  
So where did Mike go?  How did Gaby end up with 2 kids?  Are they going to hire new kids to play them now that they are all tweens?  Why aren’t I doing something more productive with my life?  (Oh sorry, that one slipped in there.)  Did Edie ever move back? What about Maynard? Does anyone feeling weird about how easy it is to cover up a murder as long as you have good friends? Did they franchise Tom’s Pizza? Where the hell is Danielle? Who thought Susan was actually kissing her cousin and had to rewind it to make sure? Have you joined this yet? Why don’t writers just come up with better story lines instead of cheating themselves out of weaker ones?   

Mike Morrison