>For anyone that has known me for a long time knows that I’m a changed person. Hard to believe, but I feel like I used to be a bitter bitter man. Always grumpy at anything or anyone that crossed my path. I would annoyed at the easiest things, and although I still think senior citizens with backpacks is still annoying, I’d like to think over the past year, that I’ve grown out of my “Darlene Conner” phase of life.

That is until you put me on a plane.

Why are plane rides sooo annoying. You would think that with all the techonology and advancements in the world, there would be a better way to fly. Why is it that anytime I walk on a plane I get flashes of the third class of the Titantic, stuck behind cast iron fences. It’s so awful. Between the loud talkers, the chair kickers, the leg cramps, the shitty radio stations, the even shittier movies (Seriously, Flicka, come on!?!), there’s only so much one can handle.

This past week for the holidays, I flew from one side of Canada to the other. I like travelling and have become increasingly patient with it, but I too have my limits. I don’t like sharing my seat with someone who should at least consider an application for The Biggest Loser. I don’t like sitting in front of new born babies. Would it be so bad to put an oxygen mask on them? And, worst of, I am now proud to say that I know the lyrics of the “take off song!”. This is a song that these wonderful parents beside me sang to their children as the plane takes off.

it goes like this:

“take off, take off, we are taking off!
higher and higher we go!
weee weee weee!”

Repeat forever!

It was the weirdest thing, they had no quams singing honestly as loud as they could. Then after that they put their portable DVD player (playing Dora) on as loud a possible, for the whole plane to hear.

To further annoy my flying, my flight was 2 hours late and landed me in Calgary, AB at a very pleasant 3am, without any luggage. As my friend Jessica said: How does that happen? They don’t lose people do they?

Oh well, its done now, I won’t be flying again until my friends and I hit the tarmack to make it to Hawaii!!! Should be fun. They don’t people in Hawaii right?

Mike Morrison