Monday morning started off like every Monday. I was bald, tired, poor, wearing clothes and I was on my way to work. On my way to my car, yes I drive-don’t judge, I saw that there was $5 on the sidewalk. No big deal I thought. I picked it up and put it on my front stoop of my house. Since there are a couple of people living in the big house I figured it was one of my housemates.

Then I walked to my car and realized that my Monday was not going to be as lucky as the person whose $5 I had found. Because my car remote’s battery is dying it sometimes doesn’t lock when I hit the lock button. I usually remember to check it but obviously last night I didn’t. Because when I opened my car door the entire contents of my car had been thrown around. Pictures, cords (the wires, not the pants) and my embarrassing CD collection were all tossed around. Obviously somebody had snuck into my car and went looking for some money. Too bad for them whoever did it probably has more money in their bank than I do. And then I realized that I had left some Hong Kong Dollars in my car and it didn’t take me long to see that that money was now gone. $100 Canadian dollars down the drain.
These are on my thoughts:
-Who finds $5 gives it back only seconds later to realize he lost $100?
-Why would you take $100 but not my Rankin Family CD?
-Why the hell did I still have Hong Kong dollars anyway?
-It’s so weird knowing that someone else was in my car. I don’t even let my best friends in my car, let alone in the drivers seat.
-I need to get a new car opener thingy.
-I need to figure out the proper name for the car opener thingy.
-I’m so grateful that they left my pictures of my nephew and niece. Thanks scary probably homeless man…or woman.
-And in case they are reading this….I’m the guy that puts all the bottles in the back ally every week for you to take. And this is how you repay me? I’m totally going to go Sami Brady on your ass.
-Can anyone lend me $100?

Mike Morrison