This post is sponsored by Excel:

Here’s the thing about a gumergency, you often don’t know that you’re even having one until it’s too late.

But there are some tell-tale signs of a gumergency:

  1. People keep backing away from you.
  2. When you suggest greek for dinner, your partner response with a confused, “Really?!?”
  3. Your dentist keeps cancelling your appointments.
  4. Despite having the voice of an angel, no choir wants you in their group.
  5. Balloons pop as soon as you try to blow them up.
  6. Rob Ford is not jealous of your breath.
  7. You’re a contestant on Big Brother and all the houseguest evict themselves.
  8. Your career councillor thinks you’d be a great mime or monk.
  9. People cringe when it’s time for you to blow out your birthday candles.
  10. Your music teacher will only let you play percussion.
  11. No one ever tries to catch the bubbles you’re blowing.
  12. They through the mic out after you sing Don’t Stop Believing at karaoke night.
  13. Your dates always suggest meeting at libraries.
  14. Not even the dog greets you at the door.
  15. People keep sending you to stop smoking seminars, even though you’ve never smoked.
  16. Your parents move…but don’t tell you where.
  17. You suspect that the #hisbreathstinks hashtag is about you.
  18. People cry when you yawn.
  19. Your friends buy you enough Halloween masks, you could wear one every day of the year.
  20. Your floss breaks.

Thankfully, there’s the Excel Gumergency Hotline. So if you’ve got bad breath or suspect someone else has bad breath, like a colleague or a friend or an enemy, watch this new video from Excel gum now.

Mike Morrison