I’ve given up on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I know, I know, this is like my twelvth time quitting it, but I don’t have the concentration to keep up with The Hogwarts Gang. And quite frankly, I don’t understand how eight-year olds do either. Aren’t they supposed to be getting stupider?

So I’ve moved onto a new book, one that is more suitable to my tastes and burgeoning drinking problem. Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler has been on my must read list for the past couple of months and I’m so excited to finally be able to be done with that damn boy wizard and focus on my favorite alcoholic television host.

And while I’m only a couple of chapters in, I already know that this book is going to become the closet thing to a personal modern day bible that I’ve read since Where’s Waldo.

I thought I’d share with you an excerpt from the book, that essentially sums up the similar struggles Chelsea and I have faced in the past.

When reflecting on her childhood, Handler writes:

“There was more adult supervision at the Neverland Ranch than there was in my house growing up. When a week before my fourth birthday, my parents told me to plan my own birthday party-I knew I was pretty much on my own.”

And while I’ve thought about gathering my childhood journals and blog entries to be compiled in book form, I think for now I will wait and enjoy Chelsea Handlers take on her life. In the meantime, I’ll have to wait until my parents become too frail to pick up their phone and call their lawyers.

Mike Morrison

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