>I was never really into sports. I mean sure I did play varsity soccer in Junior High, but then again, no one got cut from the team, so I guess you can say I was forced. Either way I actually enjoyed myself. Then there was the school year of 2004-2005 when I sorta became obsessed with the gym and especially racquetball. But that was fueled by my hatred of all things school (17 years of school will do that to you) and my days of aspiring to be on Body Break soon ended when I walked across the stage with my B.Ed diploma in hand.

I like my couch and I like the stage. No one gets hurt sleeping on their couch or acting on a stage. That made my decision to give up sports even easier. So needless to say my pain threshold is low. Like lower than low. Danny Devito would look down on my pain threshold.

So imagine my frustration when, minutes before my friend and I left for the mountains for the weekend, my 100 year old apartment decided to call it a day and fall apart. It was then that the drawer from one of my cupboards  decided to fall off onto my toe and essentially bust the big one open. No big deal I thought…until my sock quickly filled with my precious Corn Pop-filled blood. I ran to the bathroom and proceeded to keep the blood squirting to a minimum with cold water. That was working fine until I started sweating profusely and got really really nauseous. My friend was great to take care of me and within minutes my bloody toe and life was under control.

As I was lying there on my couch, drying my eyes and watching MTV, I couldn’t help but wonder: who invented drawers in the first place? Then I wondered what kinda bad luck do I have to actually injure my foot minutes before the mountains? Do you know the last time I hurt myself? Aside from the time that I accidentally watched Two and a Half men, I actually don’t think I have ever hurt myself. I’ve never been a patient in a hospital and that’s the way I like it.

So I ask. Why do people do things that could injure themselves? This is why god invented TV Shows on DVD and the new year-round tv seasons. And if that doesn’t work, there is always something playing at the movie theatres….even if it does star Sylvester Stallone. So while the summer may be just around the corner, me and my bloody toe nail (which is probably going to fall off says Dr. Erin) will be taking it easy with a nice BBQ and Last Comic Standing.

Ahhh summer.

Mike Morrison