Lady Gaga Sucks in Calgary

>The following is an email actually sent to Gossip Gangster Perez Hilton

Dear Perez,

So I just got back from the Lady Gaga concert in Calgary, Alberta and I thought you should know a little something about one of your new BFFs.

The doors were supposed to open at 8:00pm, which they did. But you don’t have to be Paris Hilton’s BFF to know not to go that early in the evening. The only people that would perform that early would be….well no one. Not even my relatives get drunk that early. And they have been drunk since yesterday.

Anyway, my friends and I showed up around 11:00pm (on a school/work night) and waited. Of course, by waited I mean got pushed and shoved like it was a premiere for Twilight or something. I swear 75% of the audience was made of Degrassi extras rejects who probably barely got through security. My friends and I did some shots, waited, chatted with some people who had been standing in front of the stage for four hours, did some more shots, waited, did some more chatting, danced to Britney and kept waiting. Finally it was about 12:15am and she still hadn’t shown up on stage.

What was frustrating about the whole thing was that we aren’t talking about Elton John here Perez (who started on time both times I saw him). We are talking about Lady Gaga, who has only had one hit. Oh and for the record, her one hit “Just Dance” never got higher than 16 on the Billboard 100 chart and her second single PEAKED at 125. Wow. Even more embarrassing, her album also peaked at a lonely 17th position on the albums chart. Statistically speaking, Lady Gaga is a one hit wonder, which makes waiting that long to see her similar to waiting for Donna Lewis, Tina Arena or OMC.

Look Perez, I know she is probably an amazing performer. But Calgary, Alberta ain’t Vegas. We are a city full of workers and students and it was a WEDNESDAY night, what the hell was she doing on the bus in front of Tequila for so long? Couldn’t she TIVO Pushing Daisies like the rest of us? The people in front of us said they listened to Lady Gaga every morning and they ended up leaving before we did. They even said that they were never going to listen to her again because they were so disappointed.

The whole evening was made worse by the fact that when my friends and I decided to leave, we saw Lady Gaga leaving her bus to enter the club around 12:30pm. Those outside, who had not yet hit puberty, screamed with excitement and she didn’t even raise her head to say hello. Excuse me Lady Gaga, when did you become such hot shit? Calgary is a freaking cold place and those people waited HOURS to see you sing one damn song and you couldn’t even fake a smile. It’s so funny Perez that you call Christina Aguilera a Gaga-copycat, but you know what the main difference between them is? X-tina started on time and loved every second with her fans. Lady Gaga? Well I don’t know, we left before she got on stage to sing her one song. I’m guessing we didn’t miss much.

Next time you see her, tell her that what she did in Calgary was defnitely not cool. Even less cool then the fact that she got third billing next to the New Kids on The Block and Natasha Bedingfield at the Saddledome earlier that night.

All the best,

Mike
Mike’s Bloggity Blog

Despite everything, a big THANK YOU to Lisa from Tequila Nightclub!!!! She has always been awesome to Mike’s Bloggity Blog and me and my friends always have a blast at Tequila, even if Lady Gaga sucked it hard!!!!!