By now you’ve heard that the Lady Gaga/Kanye West tour has been canceled. At last report, approximately three people actually cared. Two of those people had their names in the title of the tour.
But a canceled tour isn’t going to stop Lady Gaga from being creepy and super-weird all over this great country, because she is going to go on tour by herself. The tour is called The Monster Ball and surprisingly doesn’t feature Billy Bob Thornton or Halle Berry. So even though she only has one album, Lady Gaga is hoping you’ll come out and set yourself back years on your therapy sessions. The concert is expected to run for a solid twenty minutes. The show is also expected to bring the whos-who of emotionally repressed weirdos and freaks. So yes, I’ll be there.
The just announced Canadian dates include:

November 27 – Montreal, Quebec, Canada – The Bell Center

November 28 – Toronto, Ontario, Canada – Air Canada Center
November 29 – Ottawa, Ontario, Canada – Scotiabank Place
December 09 – Vancouver, BC, Canada – Queen Elizabeth Theatre
December 10 – Vancouver, BC, Canada – Queen Elizabeth Theatre
Let’s just hope that she shows up on time this time around.

Mike Morrison