Dear people who give out the swag bags at the Junos,

My name is Mike and I am a blogger. Because I’m so nosey and want things I don’t always deserve, I recently stumbled on the contents of what will be in the this year’s Juno Gift Bag. Apparently, you are calling it a “Survival Kit For The Stars.” I realize that it is only supposed to be for the presenters and performers at this year’s Junos, but I was wondering if you could make an exception.
The chances of me ever being a nominee, presenter or performer as slim. I’ve always thought that I’d make a great hip-hop artists but let’s face it, Snow ruined it for the rest of us. I guess I could maybe host someday, but Russell Peters scares me and hosting seems to be his thing. So I’ll let him have that one.
So I’m left wondering, how else am going to get the bag full of products from: Alphabet Photography, Bluebasins Bath and Body, Dickies, Metrin Scientific Skincare, Yakpak and Powermat?
I realize there are a bunch of beauty products in the bag too, but let’s try to be honest with each other, I’m bald and pale. I don’t need them. But I would be happy to pass them on to a blog reader or two.
So I’ve resorted to a passive, yet slightly aggresive (do it now!) blog post.
You are probably concerned about mailing out such an elaborate package, so don’t worry. I’m going to be at this year’s Junos. You can just leave it on my seat in the Press Room. But cover it with something, I don’t want those people from Etalk stealing it. I’ve heard stories about Tanya Kim.
Thanks for reading my note and Happy Junos!
Mike’s Bloggity Blog

Mike Morrison