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It’s been several months since we last caught up with Jack Bauer and Simon Cowell. Faithful readers will remember that they were each trying to out door eachother with the success of their previous seasons of 24 and American Idol.(Click here to be refreshed) With their latest seasons coming to a close this week, I thought this would be a good time to snoop in with FOX’s rating’s heroes.

Simon: Hey Jack.
Jack: Chloe, It’s Jack!!!!
Simon: Um…what? My name is Simon. Simon Cowell. Leader of the reality free world.
Jack: Oh…yeah, sorry about that. Force of habit. I know who you are. You were the one that exposed millions of teenagers to a home grown terrorist!
Simon: Who? Paula? No no no, she’s just a drunk.
Jack: No Sunjaya Malakar!
Simon: Oh yeah, sorry about that. But did you see our singers this year? We needed something to spice up the show.
Jack: Tell me about it, I don’t even know what my season was about this year. I think there was a bomb, and then my dad tried to kill my son…um…..i mean my brother’s son.
Simon: Wow that sounds complicated.
Jack: No, mostly it was boring.
Simon: Really? More boring then 11 of our top 12 contestants. Quick, name the first guy to go home.
Jack: Um…..
Simon: You couldn’t could you? Ha! Really that’s too bad, I wanted to invite him to the finale.
Jack: Well to be fair, I was pretty busy, did you see when CTU got attacked?!?
Simon: Don’t you guys get attacked every year?
Jack: Yeah, but this time Milo died!
Simon: Who?
Jack: Yeah, I didn’t know him either.
Simon: So….
Jack: So….
Simon:Well, maybe we didn’t have the most exciting singers, but we are going to have one of the best winners ever!
Jack: Really?
Simon: Umm…sure.
Jack: Either way, it’s not going to be more exciting than our 2 hour finale. Someone’s going to die. It might even be me!
Simon: Is it really going to be you?
Jack: Umm….no. I signed this contract, I’m here all day! Get….ALL DAY!!
Simon: Bloody Hell. Why don’t we just agree that we are both going to try to do better next year.
Jack: Affirmitive.
Simon: What?
Jack: Yes.
Simon: Great! Oh, is there anyway you could, you know, take care of Sunjaya?
Jack: We’ll talk.

The 2 hour 24 season finale airs Monday
The 3 hours, 2 day American Idol finale airs Tuesday and Wednesday


Mike Morrison