Yeah it’s another night of American Idol and apparently that might not be a good thing considering the hit the ratings took last night!
Oh well, I’m just as poor as last night so I have no reason not to watch, so let’s get this thing started.
9:03 Ryan, please stop with the puns, were only seconds in and you’ve already referred to Kelly Clarkson as the potential “Lone Star” and then made references to returning to Dallas and seeing what has happened “Since they’ve been gone.” Sigh.
905: Wow a Crystal Meth addict named Jessica Brown in the first 5 minutes?  Gotta love family hour.  Too bad she is such a great singer. Does that mean Meth will make you a better singer?  I wonder what her fan’s signs will say….”Vote Meth!”
9:12 Are Beth friend’s boobs eligible to audition?  Just asking.
9:18 Can we please move on from finding the next Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.  I want the next Corey Clark or Jasmine Trias.
9:25: I often dream of dueting with my sister.
9:30 Bruce is our second person to announce to 33 million people that he is a virgin……wait.  Is the dad wearing the heart necklace to his son’s  future wife who he won’t kiss until his wedding day? Honestly, the creepiest thing I have ever heard.  Ever.  (I wish you could hear how mad my roommate is right now.  I’m watching the rest of the show in my room due to fear.) 
9:32 “Look out for Ryan on your way out.” Gold.
9:40:  A bag full of finger nails!!!! WHAT!!!!  Where do they find these people. (My roommate is hating this more than the greener virgin)
9:52 Kayla “one-eyed” Hatfield kinda reminds me of a Saturday Night Live skit.  Did Kayla just make history by being the first person that Simon said yes to and Paula said no? Crazy.
9:57: Katie “Britney-Carrie-Rascall Flatts-Shakira” Maloy was saved by Simon doing what he does best and picking the talented.
10:05 Why do they give losers like Douglas so much screen time again?  I think we are all over the bad auditions, I honestly just want to see the gold ticket winners.
10:15 Do you think Chad married that girl just cause she is such a bad singer that he knew that he could someday get her to audition for American Idol, thus ensuring him some screen time to help his modeling career.  Maybe I’m too cynical?  Nah, probably not.
10: 24 Colten Swan?  Your brother doesn’t support you.  But I do like your hair.  Sorry, You can’t win them all.
10:33 Paula flirts with the line of dangerous attraction to the young Idols every year.  This year is no exception with Cowboy Drew.
10:40 “Hi my name is Kyle!  I’m so Rock and Roll.  I’m wear guy-liner and sing Kelly Clarkson.  Rock on bitches!”
10:46 OMG did you know that Kelly Clarkson was found at the Dallas Auditions!?!?!?  Who knew?  I wish there was a montage of “Since U have been gone” so it could be cemented into my head!  Wait for it………..
10:53: Ok I’m shutting this down because I am not acknowledging Rendaldo Lupez.
So Dallas is done.  And it couldn’t have ended sooner.  But it doesn’t matter because “we are brothers are forever.”
Hey, I wonder where Kelly Clarkson is from?
See you in San Diego next week. Let’s just hope they don’t bring the tigers.

Mike Morrison