Next Sunday, I’ll be meeting someone new, well not new, but someone I haven’t seen in a while. Me and this “friend” have had a tumultous friendship at best. They always seem come through for me just when everyone else is saying the same old thing after Christmas. We usually don’t talk in the fall, it just doesn’t work for me. But like clockwork here they come, mid January, with their falshy outfits, and bad singers? What’s that? Oh yeah. my friends name is Fox. And next sunday night I’ll be reaquainting myself with this hit-and-miss channel when they bring back my best friend “24” and it’s slutty cousin “American Idol” What can I say, I have a thing for slutty cousins. (Ha! This is funny for only one person.)

That’s right folks in a mere 6 days we will be subjected to the AMAZING 4 hour (2 hours on Sunday, 2 more on Monday) season premiere of 24! If you’ve never seen this show, it doesn’t matter, its fairly easy to catch up on, mostly because by the end of each season everyone except Jack has died and then he starts it up all over again. Also, this show never repeats! Never Ever, every week is a new one. Sorry, just a little drool on my keyboard.

Then if that wasn’t enough, we have the two night premiere of American Idol on Tuesday and Wednesday. My friends can wait, my life has been taken over. I need me some AI. It’s so addictive, why can’t I look away, I’m a sucker for a singing waitress or a daddy who has a dream. And although sometimes I feel that Canadian Idol has better raw talent, just less flashy, I’ll be pretending that I can vote for the underdog. Cause that’s who I would, if I could.

So although I don’t have DVR or even Tivo, my DVD recorder has been rehearsing this weekend and we are getting ready.

So to you Fox, welcome back old friend. So often treat me like shit, but be nice to me until my birthday in May, and all will be forgiven!

Jack: “Man I’m so sick of having to save the world and a network! I’m so tired! God. Wait, don’t I have a daughter, where did she go to anyway?! Oh wait, who are you? Can’t you see I’m busy, telling everyone Jack is Back. Why are your shirts so tight? Whose that gay guy following you with the highlights?”

“Bitch, please, you wish you could shoot this! Look at what I can do with my thumb, that’s some crazy shit! And what’s this I hear about saving the network? Last I heard, we saved your stressful confusing little ass. You better recognize. Also can you PLEASE stop saying your name everytime you call someone, we have caller ID, we all know its you! Oh and you can shoot the fairy, he’s bloody annoying!”

Mike Morrison