So last week, I was having a bad Monday and I needed to have a drink.  My friend said, “I have some wine, because I’m watching The Bachelor, do you wanna come over?” I was already in the car by the time she said wine, so I didn’t hear the Bachelor part.

Within minutes of opening the box of wine, I realized my mistake that in return for the grapey goodness, I would have to watch the ridiculous dating show. Once the fermented grapes fully kicked in, it became instantly more enjoyable and I started tweeting.  The show was still terrible, but I thought my tweets were hilarious.

Then this happened:


Yup, I was named one of The Best Of “The Bachelor” Twitterverse.  (I’ve already inquired on how to return my Valedictorian award to my university.)

Huffington Post!  You are going to ruin my reputation!  I was doing it to be funny and now people are going to think I really watched the show.  Further more, I’m addicted to attention, so I’m going to have to try to out Tweet myself this week, meaning that yes, I’ll be turning in.

I think this is how sex tapes start.

Mike Morrison


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