Guest Blogger: I Can’t Believe You Don’t Know…that I want my own TV show!

I’m taking some time off this week, so I’ve asked some of my friends to step into my shoes and do a little guest blogging for me.  Luckily, I have some pretty cool friends, who will be  weighing in with some really interesting and fun posts.  Their writing assignment was to teach both you and I something.   Make sure you check back all week to read the special series:  I Can’t Believe You Don’t Know About…..

Today’s Guest Blogger is Tara Sukut!  Take it away Tara!

Here’s the thing. I have never had a burning passion to write a blog. It reminds me of homework. But what I have always wanted to do is host my own TV show.  And as I write this and realize it’s incredibly narcissistic to think ANYONE would be remotely interested in having a peek into my crazybrain life – I still can’t get over the sick fantasy I’ve had since I moved out on my own. I just can’t shake it.

My imaginary TV show would feature me (duh) and show all the ridiculous things I get myself into as I putter around my life. There would be recurring guest appearances from several nutjob friends who show up randomly and persuade me to make good-intentioned bad home improvement decisions. And then it would show me scrambling to repair all the damage these decisions have made in my life. It would be epic Canadian TV.

Thinking back to some key imaginary episodes, there was the one where our host accidentally got drunk and paintedher bathroom an incomprehensible shade of blue. You will laugh and cry as you watch her make an ungodly mess with oil-based paint and then realize her horrifying hard-to-paint-over mistake the next day — with a tragic hangover.

Or there was that one episode she and BFF decided it would be fun to strip and refinish her hardwood staircase. With no idea or tools to do the job properly. Laugh along with her as she tries in vain to keep senior snoopy cat out of the
solvent. Good times.

And don’t forget the epic adventure of her chasing new babycat into the snowy backyard in pjs and clunky rubber boots. Wasn’t it funny when our hero slipped and fell, cracked her head on a rock and got it stuck under the waterfall of her pond? Backyard waterboarding makes for great TV every time. Right?

For years I’ve wanted to pitch my idea to CBC but I’ve just recently remembered Miss Mary Bellows. For those unfortunate folks who don’t know or recall this marvel, I personally believe Mary Bellows was the inventor of Home and Garden television. Yep, it is arguably a Canadian invention, tucked in right beside the zipper. Long before Sarah had a house, or Holmes was fixing up homes on HGTV, Mary Bellows hosted a much loved daytime home improvement show called “Do It For Yourself” on the CBC network.

The quirky, lanky feather-haired blonde was an absolute nut who tried to fix, build, grow or make a million different projects around her house. She had sidekick dogs named Zeke and Hoover who constantly got in her way as she messed up everything she touched. She did crafts for her son, planted seedlings with a man-friend and gave real, working advice on how to fix all the things around her that were broke. I’m positive she was an inspiration and idol to a generation of young girls everywhere who grew up, like me, not knowing exactly how to fix a broken toilet or hang a curtain rod straight – but having a hilarious time trying. Man, I miss that show.

Tara Sukut is the Media and Publicity Manager at Calgary Folk Music Festival.  She’s also excellent company on the Ship and Anchor patio.  Follow her on Twitter!

Hilarious Tara, thank you!  If you get your own show, can I please be your Ed McMahon?