The first time I remember going to the movies was when Bambi was re-released in July of 1985. After that I vaguely remember seeing Three Ninjas and Aladdin. Those were great kid movies and although I’ve never trusted a hunter since (or talking parrots), I left each of those movies fairly un-traumatized.

Since I’m only in my mid-twenties I don’t like to refer to the phrase “back in the day”, but I feel the actions of several parents in modern day Calgary leave me no choice.

Back in the day my parents would never dream of letting me watch a movie that was rated anything above a “G” (General Audiences). Sure there were the times you snuck behind the couch and watched Arachnophobia while your brothers laughed (I cried) at the giant spider. And who hasn’t snuck into a movie theatre to a movie their parents would never approve of. (Jurassic Park, again cried.) But there is a huge difference between kids sneaking into a movie so their parents don’t catch them and parents who actually bring their kids to an inappropriate movie.

Last night, I went to a screening of the sex-comedy Superbad. This move is rated R (18 or above). A very hard R. This movie is so vulgar that the studio actually had a hard time putting together a preview that would be subtible for movie theatres and actually made the rare move of putting an R-rated preview on the movie’s website.

So imagine my surprise when I walked into the late show at Eau Claire (10:10pm) and there were a handful of kids. Sadder still these kids were accompanied by their parents. Hardly being able to handle all the ethical issues with having kids at this screening I was barely able to enjoy it.

Since I’m a guy who pretty much learned everything there is about sex from numerous screenings of American Pie, I can only imagine the questions these kids would have for their parents after the screening. Also, do you know how disturbing it is to see 10 year old kids laughing at jokes about……well things I literally cannot type on this blog even if I wanted to.

There were things in Superbad that I didn’t even understand yet there was little “Jimmy” laughing his little Pokemon filled head off.

Funnier still is that when these kids go to school in a couple of weeks these parents, and I use the term loosely, will be the first to blame the teachers or other kids when little “Sally” comes home early after writing a poem about flowers and STDs. I’m not saying all parents are bad. Just the ones that wear Crocs to malls and those who take their kids to R rated movies. Not only should you respect your kids enough to not expose them to the world of teenage sex romps…well ever, but you should also respect yourself enough to realize that just cause you take them to these movies doesn’t make you a cool parent. That is why things like Harry Potter and the Calgary Zoo exist. Grow up.

Here is the super offensive (also HILARIOUS) R-rated trailer.

Mike Morrison