Canada's Next Celebrity Prime Minister?

>Also available on The National Post’s The Ampersand

On Wednesday night CBC welcomes a new season of CBC’s Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister. And while it’s fun to see twenty somethings spout off their knowledge of all things Canadian politics, wouldn’t it be more fun to watch famous Canadians trying to do the same thing.

Canada’s always been lacking in the reality show department. Sure we get crap like Are You Smarter Than A Canadian 5th Grader (depends which province they went to school in). But Canada is still painfully missing northern editions of Survivor and The Amazing Race which still get killer ratings for their newest seasons.

So in an effort to spice up our reality show fare, I would like to propose Canada’s Next Great Celebrity Prime Minister. It would be a ratings bonanza, plus it would give many of these “celebrities” a steady paycheck which is something that most Canadian personalities have never seen before.

Here are my suggestions:

Hal Johnson (exercise expert/Body Break) His enthusiasm towards absolutely anything that either moves or casts a shadow would be refreshing, especially on parliament hill. “It’s Budget Time! It’s Budget Time! It’s Budget Time!” Of course, he would have to bring the mustache back ASAP.
Don Cherry (Commentator) He is the only one that could yell at the judges and not get in trouble for it. Canada’s hockey hero would make for amazing television, just as long as he remembered where he was.
Ocean Hellman (Nicole from Danger Bay) Aside from having perhaps the coolest name ever, Hellman was the star of Danger Bay that was often over shadowed by a damn sea-plane. Every reality show needs an iconic 80’s television star and Ocean would definitely be a top contender for Canada’s top job! If Ocean wasn’t available, I would except Christine McGlade from You Can’t Do That On Television.
Nikki Payne (comedian/cursor of words) Nikki’s unmistakable voice and use of every vulgar word possible would make her the badass of a show that needs a bad ass desperately. Plus her and ChrÃ©tien could have a “What the hell are they saying” contest.
Paul Martin (former PM) Sure he is already a judge on the show, but he would probably just be happy to be able to have his job back, even it is a fake one.
Angela and Maureen Deiseach (Twin sisters Heather and Erica, Degrassi Jr High) One of Canada’s entertainment industry’s biggest travesty’s is that neither of these actress’ have worked since the devastation School’s Out movie. This is one way we could make it up to them.