>9:00 Ian Bernardo. Wow. So American Idol rolled into the Big Apple and got off to the same disasterous it always does. But before that, I need to pick a bone with American Idol. You are the #1 show and North America and you have the worst opening sequence. I’m talking bad. 7th Heaven bad. Please change it. Thank You.

9:10 Luckily , Sarah comes whipping into the room, and lets me forget all about Ian and the awful opening sequence! Oh yeah! I hate when they come through the door with the gold ticket and there is no one there to welcome there! If that was me, I’d pay someone guy like $10 to stand there and pretend their my friend. Not that I’ve done that before…….twice. A-n-y-w-a-y- Oh god she is calling her dad, I can’t listen……….ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Ok. It went ok. I’m glad. I worried there for a little bit! You go Sarah. Je t’aime!

9:25 Ashanti, Ashanti, Ashanti. The only question I have for you is, “How long have you worked on the speech!” She reminds of those times when you want to confront someone and you have this big speech prepared, but when finally it comes down to it, your lucky if drool doesn’t come out of your mouth. But Ashanti nailed it, and at the same time a Daytime Emmy Nomination. Look Out Lucci!

9:35 O.k. so like, one time my best friend and I wore bikinis on the beaches of new jersey and auditioned for American Idol, while thowing beach balls at each other and then we did eachothers hair! But then when the judges like told me I was better, I so kept it to myself, even though it was caught on camera! Oh wait, no my real friend and I went to the movies and then ate ice cream, but it is like totally like the same thing. Totally.

9:37 Oh yes! My favorite game ever is coming up! Boy or Girl! Me and Maury play it ALL. THE. TIME! William is totally a boy. That was easy. Give me another one.

9:48: Last girl of the day! here we go! Oh actually I got distracted by facebook and missed her audition, but now she is like every other girl that meets Ryan Seacrest, on the ground crying.

Day 1 Done. Come on New York, I feel like we still haven’t seen our STAR!
Oh while I was waiting for Day 2, I went and checked out my Hot or Not rating…..7 sweet. thanks granny!

9:57: Henry proves the theory I’ve always thought, Americans look waaaaaaaaaay older than Canadians! 16 years old! What?! Check his passport, I think he’s pulling a Beyonce! Plus it’s fun watching Paula not trying to jump him. Sit down Paula, learn you lesson.

10:00 Nakia’s Daily Lesson: If you don’t want people to think your crazy, then don’t be crazy. Sound advice you gold ticket holding psycho! (oh they took the ticket away from here. that’s harsh). Oh and the bitch ealier already stole your daytime emmy.

10:05pm “Even if I don’t sing, I can become an American Idol.” Oh my god people, there is only one daytime emmy to go around!

10:15pm A canadian singer singing Tina Arena’s “Chains”, she is after my own heart! Damn duel citizenships! If I had one, I would have been the Rob and Amber of Canada by now! But I digress.

10:20 “Rocky” was great! I really really liked her. Maybe my favorite of the whole competition. Oh damn she has a boyfriend. I can change that that. I great up watching Sami Brady. I’m just saying.

10:30 Paula and Simon are fighting. Someone let her cup get empty! Fill that cup!

10:35 When is the orgasming cowboy coming on!

10:40 Hey wait a minute Justin Timberlake, you are not allowed trying out! Get out, get out now.

10:46 I can’t believe people come back after not getting through, that takes guts! Buttercup, Buttercup! Come on, who hasn’t seen There’s something about Mary!

10:50 Have you noticed my entries keep getting shorter and shorter? Is this the longest episode ever!

10:55 Yes. Finally. The orgaziming cowboy! Finally. It was everything I had expected and worse. When I see these people, I always wonder what their apartments look like. What do you think it looks like? I picture clothes hangers all over the ground, open cans of spaghetti on the counter, oh and lots of mascara.

Anyway, the show is done, and I can’t complain, I’m exhausted and have 3rd degree burns from the lap top being on my lap for the past 2 hours! Night!

Mike Morrison