RIP MJ with CTV

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So I don’t know if you know but Michael Jackson died.

Seriously. I’m not joking.  
Well if you didn’t know, you soon will.
Later today will be the memorial for the King of Pop and CTV will be giving it’s viewers over 60 HOURS of coverage of the proceedings over it’s 10 different stations.
How is that possible you ask?  Well here is the rundown.
Traci Melchor, who is some-sort of Michael Jackson expert,  will be live directly from the Staples Center while ETALK’S Tanya Kim will continue to be forced to share screen time with Ben Mulroney and MuchMusic’s Leah Miller from CTV’s Queen Street headquarters in Toronto.
This (probable) over saturation will continue on CTV properties such as MuchMusic, CTV News Channel, CP24, CTV.ca and muchmusic.com!
Shockingly TSN will not be participating.
I don’t know if CTV is expecting you to flip through their stations and give them all ratings or what.  To me, it would make more sense for one station to have all the exclusive footage and have their ratings go through the roof.  But what the hell do I know.
Some of the acts expected to appear at the memorial include: Kobe Bryant; Mariah Carey; Andrae Crouch Choir; Berry Gordy; Jennifer Hudson; Shaheen Jafargholi (finalist on Britain’s Got Talent); Magic Johnson; Martin Luther King III; Bernice A. King; John Mayer; Lionel Richie; Smokey Robinson; Rev. Al Sharpton; Brooke Shields; Pastor Lucious Smith (family friend); Usher; and Stevie Wonder.
Macauley Culkin is apparently busy…working at Baskin Robins.
Today’s question: What does it take to be a Michael Jackson expert?

Don't listen, watch the Listener

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A new Canadian show premieres tonight and in case you haven’t seen the countless amount of ads, CTV really, really really wants you to watch it.

The show is called The Listener and stars Craig Olejnik as a paramedic  who can hear other people’s thoughts.
The cool thing about this show is that NBC will also be premiering on Thursday night as a part of a 13 episode deal!  If it does well, The Listener will continue the streak of Canadian shows doing well far from the reach of Ben Mulroney!
So far the critics are a little iffy about the show.
Entertainment Weekly says:  “Toby the listener wouldn’t even qualify for NBC’s Legion of the Substitute Heroes.  Finally, a convincing reason to move Jay Leno to 1opm.”

Newsday: “In a word, “The Listener” is boring. Or, if you prefer alliteration, listless.”
Variety:Actually, it’s really just more of a bore (bore … bore).
Yikes.  Doesn’t sound good.  Let’s hope CTV listens to the critics and starts making some changes ASAP.

Twitter vs. Mulroney

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One of my favorite things about Twitter is the ability to “follow” famous people. Whether they are movie stars, musicians or my favorite, television writers.

One of the most annoying things about twitter, is the amount of fake people that are out there. No I’m not talking about the cast of the Hills. People who have nothing better to do than make a fake account and pretend they are someone they are not. Oh wait, maybe I am talking about the cast of the Hills.
So annoying. Unless of course you are talking about @etalkben. In which case, this fake twitter account is the best thing going. Sadly, I feel like it might even be more entertaining than the real Ben Mulroney. Oh who are we kidding, my crappy cellphone that dies after one text message, is more entertaining than Ben Mulroney. I’m pretty sure I found the thing I sneezed onto my kitchen table yesterday, more interesting than the Etalk host. The other day I tripped and fell. I ended up breaking my coller bone and almost died. I didn’t cry until the nurse turned on Etalk. But I’m getting off track.
The best thing about whoever is “twittering” for Ben is that, he keeps insisting he is the real thing. Even though CTV has announced that he is indeed fake.
Some of my favorite tweets include:
  • “In the car on the way to Casino Rama. Please support CDN auto workers. Sure, my car is from Germany, but my chauffeur is from Windsor.”
  • My “business lunches” alone led to the layoffs of half a dozen Globe writers. Hey guys, no hard feelings, right?
  • Accidently made eye contact with a waiter…just lost my appetite.
  • Yes, I know yesterday was Earth Day, but do you expect me to take public transit? I mean, c’mon!
  • going for a Mani/Pedi. Can’t tweet with an army of asian women working my cuticles, so i’ll talk at you all later.
Hmm I wonder if they can hire this guy to host Canadian Idol next year when it comes back. Wait, we are still believing it’s coming back next year right? Haha, oh CTV. You make me laugh, even when Ben doesn’t. Which to be clear, is all the time.

UPDATE: Apparantley “Brian Mulroney” has also joined Twitter! Someone is going to be getting there GST-paying ass sued!

Junos: Live Blogging National Post!

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The Big day is finally here. Ben Mulroney is hamming it up on the red carpet which I think means it will be a big night!

I’ll be live blogging for the National Post all afternoon/evening so make sure you go check that out.
I’ll also be updating twitter as things happen!

Happy Junos everyone!

Gloomy times for Global, CTV soars!

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Dang! Global just got bitch slapped by CTV.

Things aren’t looking good for the Canwest Global as of late and the news is getting worse.  The ratings for Canada’s Oscar coverage was just released and CTV’s Etalk shin-punched Global’s ET Canada by more than 21%!  Ben Mulroney, Tanya Kim and my friend Lainey also won in the key demos (Adults 25-54 and adults 18-49)!  Etalk’s Oscar coverage also scored the show it’s highest ratings of the season!  Crazy!
While these numbers aren’t  a complete domination, it’s probably not the news that Canwest wanted to hear!  Maybe they should hire a certain bald headed blogger as a correspondent….
Come on Campenelli get your act together!

Best Breakfast Ever?

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Getting sick of winter?

One of my fav radio stations, Energy 101.5, is bringing back one of their most luxurious contests, Breakfast in Barbados!  

Now last week Freeway Frank (co-host of the morning show) got mad at me for saying that I tuned off my radio during the announcement of the contest because I was jealous. He said he didn’t realize that it would be something that people would be jealous of and not want to listen to!

Um excuse me Frank, who wouldn’t be jealous of a week vacation in Barbados with beach front seats to concerts with Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry and Simple Plan (hey two out of three ain’t bad)!

They are obviously not going to send me along (once was probably enough), so yeah, I was and continue to be a little jealous. But if you are one of those 8 people that win the grand prize, congrats! That trip sounds AWESOME.

And in case people are wondering, yes, I am free the week of April 20th. I’m stating this for no other reason but to tell people that this is the week of the trip and that I am free. No plans, lots of vacation time. Free, free and free. Wide Open. I already have a passport. So I’m free. Is that clear? I’m free.

Oh in case you don’t live in Calgary, other stations from all over Canada are running it to.  They include Victoria’s KOOL FM, QM FM Vancouver, Edmonton’s The Bounce, Winnipeg’s Curve 94.3, CHUM FM in Toronto, Ottawa’s MAjic 100FM and C100 in Halifax.  Plus Etalk is also running the promotion. The problem with that one is that you then run the risk of seeing Ben Mulroney with no shirt! 

Remember if you win, I am free free free.

I can also fly out of Toronto.

Idol, Idol, Idol

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American Idol is back tonight!

Yah?!?

Canadian Idol is taking the year off and maybe it’s time that it’s older sibling should consider the option. Of course taking AI off the air would cripple the FOX network like it was no ones business. What you think Prison Break is carrying that network? Hell to the no!

But this is america, I’m guessing will be seeing this show at least until the cast of John and Kate Plus Eight are able to audition. I can’t wait to see Simon rip into Maddy. That seven year old has it coming!

The good news is that American Idol is acknowledging some of the problems it’s been facing the last couple of years (I’m talking to you season 6) and making some big changes. There is a new judge Kara DioGuardi, the always entertaining Hollywood Week will air over two weeks, instead of just one. And this year the show will be going back to it’s old format of the top two singers from each round making it to the finals. They even brought back the wild card, which saved Clay Aiken back in season two. And aren’t we all thankful for that? Hello? Anyone?

So what do you think, Are you done with American Idol? Do you think Ben Mulroney will somehow find a way to sneak on to the show? Why don’t they ever invite Taylor Hicks to be back on the show?

Canadian Idol canceled?

>It’s a Christmas Miracle!


Finally something good is coming out of the recession.

Ben Mulroney is sorta out of a job.

That’s right, Canadian Idol was sorta-kinda- canceled this morning when it was announced that they would not be producing the expensive reality show for the 2009 summer season.

The official reason is being blamed on expected lower than normal ad revenue.

But I happen to think it’s because I dealt Canadian Idol a crushing blow just a couple of days ago. Yeah, that’s probably the reason….

They got married!!

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First off, I’m sorry if you thought the title of this blog post implied that the Two Strangers and A Wedding actually did happen….cause it didn’t. I already covered that. Jeez.

The wedding I’m talking about is Canadian Idol Host and general pain in my side* Ben Mulroney. Yup, he too decided to get married on Thursday to fashion designer Jessica Brownstein in Montreal.

While the wedding went off without a hitch, there is no word if Ben Mulroney gave an awkward sounding speech and make confusing jokes, after all it’s what he does best.

Congrats Ben!

*In this case, “pain in my side” refers to my often debilitating jealously towards Ben’s jobs and hair.

"Two Strangers…" Most Shocking Moment #2

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We are only 2 sleeps away from the most unbelievable wedding that Canada has ever seen, this might be even more shocking then when in a couple of weeks someone actually marries Ben Mulroney, YES Ben Mulroney! Like I said, shocking.

Speaking of shocking, let’s keep the countdown going.
Ladies and Gentleman may I please present:
The #2 Most Shocking Moment of Two Strangers and a Wedding!

Forever Groom decides that he wants Monday Bride Back!!!

What if you broke up with this girl because you were a coward who was afraid to commit. You said you were afraid to commit simply because you probably liked banging the business student intern who worked in your office and if you actually got married, you might feel bad about it.

So you break-up and keep her in your side-pocket until something better comes along.

Then imagine for a second that your ex-girlfriend was selected to become what is most likely be, one of Canada’s most famous brides. The sheer jealously of her happiness got to you so much, that you decided that you wanted to start your own campaign to win her back, probably just so you could share some of the spotlight.

Well that is exactly what Monday Bride’s ex-boyfriend did last week, even going as far as starting his own website and naming himself Forever Groom. A quick browse on his website and Forever Groom inadvertently reveals himself to be the scum of the earth that so many women in Calgary have already encountered and paid thousands of dollars to their therapists to get over.

Shockingly, Forever Groom proposed to her on Thanksgiving and she actually said yes, only to give back the ring the next day and continue on her journey to find true love with Energy 101.5!

Luckily, for the time being, it seems that Monday Bride is sticking to the social experiment and not letting Forever Groom become the distraction he so desperately wants to be. But his appearance made for a shocking twist in the story that has already had so many.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the most shocking moment of them all. This is all leading up to the big wedding that will be taking place at COP on Thursday morning at 8am!
(I got my invitation today, time to go shopping!)

UPDATE: Now he even has a billboard!