Mike's Bloggity Blog

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First it was Katherine McPhee and now it is Kevin Covais’ turn.

That’s right good ol’ Chicken Little from the 5th season of American Idol makes his major motion picture debut in this weekend’s College (I don’t even want the trailer on this site). Aside from having probably one of the most boring titles ever for a movie, it is only expected to make about $6 million this weekend, although I think it will be way lower than that!

I spent the night tossing and turning thinking about this. Why was even Kevin cast in this movie? Does the studio think that he can bring in an audience? Was he the cheapest? Does he have a terminal disease and making a movie was his “Make a Wish”? But maybe this is a whole new career for Kovais, after all he is already cast in Lindsay Lohan’s next project called Labour Pains. I guess when you are an actor you have to take what you can get….of course I’m referring to Lindsay.

Either way, in case you are huge Kevin Covais fan I’m sure you’ll have a blast this weekend. If nothing else, you’ll have the entire theatre to yourself.

>Happy Friday!

Better yet, it is a long weekend. I posted like a madman this week, so I’m going to be taking a long weekend a little bit early and only post this freaking kick ass song! We’ve all heard it on some car commercial, but the chorus is pretty ridiculously awesome.

I love long weekends, mostly because Monday’s suck. But this weekend is going to be great because I don’t really have that much on the radar. Some drinks with friends tonight, work on Saturday, Cirque du Soleil (thanks maggie!) on Sunday and then the much anticipated second season premiere of little show named Gossip Girl. Welcome back to my life Kristen Bell. You can return my phone calls any day now.

Now enjoy this funktastic song! And please have an awesome and safe long weekend!

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OIt’s Thursday night and my good friend Megan has come over to watch the Democratic election. I know, I was surprised too. But who can’t watch hours upon hours of CNN with a nice bottle of El Felino Malbec.

The conflict I am facing is this. Megan is sitting right beside me and I am trying so hard to be interested in what Barak is saying and or doing, but all I can think about it is how much closer I am to the double eviction episode of Big Brother! I tried to tell her how exciting it was when they do an HoH ceremony, the nominations, the veto, the veto ceremony and the elimination all in 30 minutes but she didn’t seem to care.

So here I am stuck in my own living room, like a prisoner on Prison Break, left to find something interesting in politics. I have to find ways to pass the time until Michelle’s elimination. I count how many times Obama said “thank you” in the first 90 seconds: 32;* I pretend that I have laundry to do so I can leave the room. And I listen to Megan’s random thoughts during the famous speech “eliminate hyundai, honda..whatever that is okay”. I’m fairly certain she has no idea what she is talking about, but her vocabulary is impressive, so here I sit.

But I should get back to the speech, I told her I had to go online to sign a petition to save dolphins or cory feldman, or something. I think she is getting suspicious.

*Megan taught me what a semi-colon was!!! I forget already.

9 minutes until Julie Chen. Can she run for president?

>We are only four sleeps away from the Season 2 premiere of Gossip Girl.  You’ve heard of that show right?  It’s that huge show that everyone talks about even though it’s ratings are as scarce as the remaining hair on my head.

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I love flying in Canada.  

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People do a lot of things when they are excited. They jump for joy, they clap their hands, they slap someone’s ass.

I like to do a combination of all three. I feel it makes me unpredictable and yet a little more relatable.

Anyway, the poor people in my office witnessed all three of these actions (in no particular order) when I read the following headline on Movieweb.com:

Kristen Bell takes lead in Astroboy

Honestly, could a more perfect headline ever be constructed? Aside from “Ryan Seacrest hires Mike Morrison as new sidekick“, I don’t think so.

Obviously it’s perfect because Kristen Bell is my BFF in training ever since she starred as Veronica Mars. Mainstream people started paying attention after her role as Elle on the sucktastic season of Heroes and that was all before she starred as the titular star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

So that’s her.

Now as for Astroboy. While I’m not ecstatic at the prospect of a CGI Astroboy, I’ve recently been rediscovering my love of all things Astro. I even went out of my way during my recent trip to Hong Kong to find the often rumored, rarely seen Astroboy Store and bought the most expensive T-shirt I have ever paid for in my life. As a child I used to dream that I would someday be on Astroboy, I actually used to get some ringing in my ears and I would always pretend that I was just like Astroboy because he got the same ringing when someone was in danger.

Sadly, my mother never bought me my much desired flying boots, always opting for a package of lifesavers and a awkward side-hug to celebrate the day of my birth.

So that is that. The movie will also star Nicolas Cage,Scarlett Johansson, Donald Sutherland, Bill Nighy, Nathan Lane, Eugene Levy, Freddie Highmore and will be opening next year! Perhaps even on my birthday and I’ll finally get those boots!

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To say that the state of the Hollywood celebrity is dire is not an original statement, but it doesn’t make it any less true! I’ve been thinking more and more about what it takes to be a celebrity, mostly because I so desperately want to be one, and the more I think about it the more I become frustrated.

The most popular example is probably Paris Hilton. And while It’s easy to take shots at Paris Hilton because she is an ideal example of being famous only for being famous, like it or not she is at least interested in working on projects in the entertainment industry. There was her debut CD Paris, that didn’t necessarily get annihilated by the critics. She made a couple of movies, she did five seasons of The Simple Life and she probably makes more social appearances than any other “celebrity”. Like it or not, Paris is trying.

Personally, I choose to direct my hatred and distaste towards people like Kim Kardashian. The Soup’s Joel McHale always refers to her as being famous for “having a big ass and a sex tape.” And while some might laugh it off as a cheap shot, it’s not. It’s the truth, she is literally only famous for having a big ass and a sex tape. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t have a sex tape now a days? So really if you think about it, she is just famous for having a big ass. And if that is all it takes to be considered famous, most of my friends should be signing autographs all day long.

But there she is, star of her own reality show Living with The Kardashians with an annoying stage mother that rivals the combined efforts of Dina Lohan and Lynne Spears. Plus, late last week it was also announced that Kim would also be competing in the newest season of Dancing With The Stars. ABC obviously assuring that the word “stars” becomes less and less exclusive with every passing season. (Don’t even get me started on the rumor that Kim’s sister Khloe will be apart of the next season the embarrassingly awful The Apprentice). Stars does have its faults, however it’s undoubtedly saved the careers of many of a C and D-list celebrity (Mario Lopez, Marie Osmond, Joey Fatone, Mel C). But what can it possibly do for Kardashian? She already doesn’t have a career or any recognizable talent? This girl is the definition of a talentless nobody strikingly similar to Ben Mulroney . Of course it’s no surprise that Ryan Seacrest and his production company are responsible for creating and producing Living With The Kardashians, Ryan has been introducing us to talentless hacks for the past seven seasons of American Idol. Paging Sanjaya Malakar or William Hung.

But from a country that will always pick up a copy of US Weekly or Intouch instead of a newspaper maybe I shouldn’t expect any less. But then again it does give me a good idea. Anyone got a really good camcorder and a steady hand?

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For reasons that I don’t feel talking to about I was trolling the internet today and stumbled across  Doug Reinhardt’s website today.  I know what your thinking: Who the hell is Doug Reinhardt?  I’ll give you a hint, his father invented the frozen burrito!  No?  Nothing, alright, he can currently be seen as Lauren’s friend/date on the newest season of the Hills.

>Also available on Calgary Herald’s The Q

Tonight some of Calgary’s top thespians and theatre companies were celebrated at the annual Betty Mitchell Awards. I was initially disappointed to discover that these were not in fact the Betty White awards, nor would she be making an appearance, however I was delighted to spend a night with those who are making a living doing what so many of us are too scared to even think about trying.

Having only seen one professional production in Calgary all year (The Full Monty), I was a little lost between all the inside jokes. But I soon realized that it was best to just pretend I had shown up at the wrong family reunion and decided to stay for the free food.

In true dramatic fashion, it was only a matter of minutes into the awards ceremony until it became obvious that this wasn’t going to be a regular show. When the first award was handed out it, it was announced that it was a tie, a rarity among any awards ceremony. But that tie eventually lead to another tie, then a three-way tie and then another and then another. This certainly wasn’t the kind of three-ways that theatre people were used to!

As the audiences reaction to the oddity of the award recipients changed from shock, to heavy sighs then to awkward laughter, it became apparent that the multiple multiple-winners wasn’t going to be an issue that anyone would be able to ignore. As a spectator, it actually made the awards show a little more exciting as I kept whispering under my breath “don’t be a tie, don’t be a tie”, for fear that these thespians might rebel against the servers at Stage West.

When it was all said and done no fewer than three awards (actor in supporting role, sound design or composition and outstanding lighting design) had triple winners, while two other awards (actress in a supporting role and outstanding production of a musical) were shared amongst double winners. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that this was an award show for the record books.

Over the next couple of days, many of Calgary’s media sources will be grumbling about the results and how it ruined the reputation of these prestigious awards. So the question becomes: who is to blame for this unique outcome from the 11th annual Betty Awards?

I have no problem saying that is certainly not the organizers, who were able to put together a stellar and well run show that rivaled that of most major award shows thanks to it’s breezy pace and easy to enjoy host Dave Kelly. After all, since when do we shoot the messengers?

Perhaps a little explanation of how the awards are decided would be in order. Nominations and eventual winners were voted on by the 12 member Nomination Committee and by anyone who has seen at least 46 of the eligible productions (0r 75% of the shows) by proof of submitting something called a Betty Mitchell Passport. Legalities of carrying around someone else’s passport aside, I think this probably the most fair way awards of this nature can be handed out. But because so few people actually saw so many shows, the votes become mathematically troubling. Of course, there are going to be double and triple winners when there are only twenty people voting. It’s just simple math.

While crunching the numbers, I couldn’t help but think about the Calgary Flames and all their season pass holders and their “never miss a game” attitude. And last time I checked their wasn’t a single Calgarian playing for the NHL team still riding high after almost winning a Stanley Cup four years ago, versus the dozens upon dozens of Calgarians that are involved in nearly every aspect of a local production.

So if anyone is to blame for the skewed results of the Betty Mitchell awards it’s Calgarians. We are the ones that time and time again choose to watch UFC fights, NHL hockey games or American Idol rather than enjoy real live theatre. We are the ones that have no problem spending at least $30 at a movie theatre to see a crap movie, but balk at paying that same price to see a show at the Calgary Opera.

And I’m just as guilty. That is why before the theatre season gets going, I’ve decided to make a New Years resolution (a couple of months early) and get a subscription to one of Calgary’s many theatre companies. A quick google search gives me a lot of choice, so I am going to have to choose carefully, but it’s not going to be easy. I think I will miss the Flames 50/50 draw the most.

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warning: I realize some of you might thing this post is mean spirited but I think it is just as funny (and creepy) as the personal ad that it is about.

There has been a personal ad in the Calgary’s FFWD magazine for the past couple of weeks and after hours and hours of reading and re-reading it, I thought that I would post it all to share and ponder.

I can’t tell if this man is creepy and lonely or just desperate.
No part of the following classified has been altered.

Retired Gentlemen Looking for a lady 35-50 years for friendship that could lead to marriage, I am 5’10″, 208lbs, blue eyes, fair complexion good sense of humour. I am a young 74 years of age, sports minded, like the outdoors. Asia ladies are more than welcome to answer this ad, especially Chinese & Philiipino. Photo a must. I love dancing.

Things I think about while reading this:
-It’s never a good sign when someone admits they are retired and then ask for a 35 year old.
-Oh there it is: a young 74 years of age!
-What does a 74 year old consider a sport? Getting up? Walking down the stairs? Pooping?
-I also love that he says all the normal things, blue eyes, sense of humor and then he drops the “asia lady”bomb!
-Oh I see, not just an asia lady, he wants a chinese or Filipino! Why is that? Does he think they are more cultured? Have more to say? Better in bed? So many questions.
-I think it’s sweet that he quickly swerves away from the creepy stuff, to remind all of us (especially asia ladies) that he loves dancing.
-Sounds like catch to me!