Mike's Bloggity Blog

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Canada’s Next Top Model

Tonight marked the 2nd season premiere of Canada’s Next Top Model. Before I get into it, am I the only one who still chuckles every time they hear the title of the show? I don’t know I just find it very ironic, or is it an oxy-moron? Either way, we Canadian are lucky because then those silly ANTMers because we get Jay full time as his the host this year kicking last years host, Trisha Helfer, to the curb.

Now don’t me wrong, Jay makes for a good host, but you have to admit you were a little disturbed at how much he talked like Tyra. Seriously it was creepy.

I would also like to thank Canada’s Next Top Model by introducing bulimia and anorexia to thousands of Canadian girls by telling Jaqueline that she was a little too big for the competition, correction that she needed to tone down. Tooth Bleaching doctors every where thank you.

To Mika, the first to go home, I hate you. More specifically people like you. Why try out for a reality show if you don’t even want to be on it. As a guy who tries out for every show that you can imagine, I hate to think that someone is there and couldn’t care less. I’m glad your gone home, your daddy needs to have a chat with you.

So you think you can dance?

If you think I like TV, you should see my roommate tonight! Her two favorite shows are on the same night! I’m just happy to have someone to share the couch with!

SYTYCD is what I call guilt free television. You can watch it and just enjoy! I mean seriously if you’re a fan of dancing or not, who doesn’t like watching people dance around just a little bit!

And I defy anyone that can find anything funnier than the dancer that couldn’t stop hiccupping! Seriously, it was too funny! So was the Golden Inferno, but for different reasons.

My only request, Cat Deeley, will you please be my best friend?

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Last week after the American Finale performance episode one of the most anticipated new reality shows of the summer debuted. On the Lot was created by Survivor/Apprentice mastermind Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg. I had been reading about it every where and was so excited for the debut, probably a little more than the American Idol finale itself.

The first hour of the show about aspiring film makers trying to win a 1 Million Dollar deal from Dreamworks was exciting and strikingly original. You can imagine my surprise that out of the 30 million people that watched American Idol, only 8 million of them stuck around for the debut of On The Lot.

I was so confused, especially when the 2nd episode this part Thursday got even worse ratings! I was all ready to come on here and write a piece about WHY WEREN”T YOU WATCHING THIS AMAZING NEW SHOW!

Then…… I watched the 3rd episode this past Monday and well let’s just say I was happy that I didn’t write the aforementioned piece. Monday night’s episode was the equivalent of American Idols performance episodes, the aspiring directors each showed a 1 minute movie and then the movies were critique by the likes of Carrie Fisher and Gary Marshall. Once all that is done, the voting is opened up to the viewers and the following night some of the directors are sent home in the Box Office Results show.

I kid you not, I lasted 12 minutes of Monday’s episode. It was literally a completly different show then what I had seen the past week. It was awkward and slow moving, and no offence to my director friends, but there is a reason directors are behind the camera, they don’t exactly make for compelling TV. Unfortunatly for the show, the ratings eroded so much that it ended up in 5th place behind all repeats on the other networks! Do you know how bad that is? That is “heads will roll” bad!

Has anyone else been watching this? I’m still looking for my summer TV addiction…hints/ideas are always welcome!

>It’s been 6 days since “whats-her-name” won American Idol. After 5 months of watching and nearly obsessing over American Idol. If you were anything like me you were left 6 days ago wondering what life would be like without your American Idol fix!

Luckily, thanks to Vibe 98.5, I don’t have to wonder. Several weeks ago they launched their $100,000 Star Search Competition, and because Vibe 98.5 plays ever ad-nauseum, I almost subconsciously knew that the last round of the quarterfinals were this past Saturday at Coyotes.

With a wallet thinner then my hairline some friends and I decided to check out the talent competition. We were looking forward to seeing the best that Calgary had to offer, and hopefully a little of it’s worst.

For the last round of the Quarterfinals the audience had 6 performers to choose from. The show started with a band called Alberta House. This band consisted of two
“singers”, one played with an acoustic guitar and the other was the “rapper”. Of course this being Calgary, his raps were the equivalent of me talking really fast after a couple of Grasshoppers. My friend and I joked that they reminded us of the band Everlast. Only because that’s how long it felt like their song was…ever lasting! Ha! Surely this wasn’t the best way to start of the night.

Next up, Jessie Armstrong. The first thing I noticed about her was that she had some rabid fans. They rushed the stage to cheer on their friend. Their cheering continued throughout her performance of India Arie’s “Radio”, unfortunately not enough that we couldn’t hear her. No, maybe that’s a little harsh, she did have a good voice. But a $100,000 voice? At most a couple of twoonies.

The third act of the night was Andy Murphy. After Jessie’s performance, the night really only had one place to go. And Andy did not disappoint. It was so neat to see the entire bar full of people kind of sit up and take notice. For me Andy’s performance took this competition to way beyond a glamorized karaoke competition. His original song called “Homemade Fireflies” was honestly one of those songs that stays in your head well past its original performance. It wasn’t till after that I was informed that a homemade firefly was actually a joint! Catchy and educational, we might have a winner!

Ashley Wanamaker had the, excuse the pun, dubious task of follow Murphy. Aside from her last name setting up a plethora of easy jokes that even I won’t stoop to, Ashley did have a great voice and a nice stage presence. My only complaint about her would be that her version of Sarah Slean’s “Sweet Ones” was practically identical to the original. If I wanted to hear Sarah Slean, I’d go to her concert. I wish Ashley had at least spiced it up a little bit.

Next up was Samantha Cote. Now I’m going to try to put this gently. You know at weddings, when your mom has too much to drink and gets up on the stage and sings with the band and dances around flirty with an awkward amount of men? Well Cote’s performance was like that, only to Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man”. Samantha is definitely a good performer, but she just isn’t write for this kind of competition.

The final act of the night was the four piece band called Shutter. From what I heard from other people in the audience that night, Shutter has slowly been establishing themselves as one of Calgary’s soon to be breakout bands. They certainly didn’t disappoint either, but I say that only judging from the judges reactions. Shutter’s kind of music just isn’t for me. Mostly because I already have to listen to enough Sum 41 and Fall Out Boy. But they were certainly knew how to rock out, now if only I did. Special mention goes to their drummer, who rocked harder than all the acts combined in his 4 minutes on stage! Get that man some Ritalin!

But don’t let my opinion be the end all, although I wish it was. Even though you weren’t there on Saturday night you can still vote. Click Here where you can find all the videos of the performances in Youtube form. Voting opened Monday morning and goes until the end of the week. And you can vote as many times as you’d like! One person will be picked from each quarter final to perform in the semis is a couple of weeks.

The good thing about a competition like this is it could turn out to be very unpredictable, but if I was a betting man, which I’m not, I would have to agree with the judges when they said Andy Murphy was the one to beat.

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So you can file this under the “kinda funny, kinda sad file.”

The nominations for this years Vivid Image awards came out today. Basically these are awards for people that worked for Storybook Theatre this year. Avid readers will remember that I did Rapunzel with the company back in January.

Now here is the kicker. Everyone in my production got Nominated!….oh except for me. Seriously. Every. Single. Member. To review nominees from our play are: Allison, Chad, Tanya, Elley, Sam, Kirstie and Caitlynne. Just not me.

I mean come on, you think they would have at least “pity-nominated” me? Wouldn’t that have been better than just leaving me off the list all together? To add insult to injury they email me the nominees and the next email I get is about acting classes. Oh Karma you are a cruel cruel ironic bitch.

Get me Susan Lucci’s number!

>Living in Mission, one of Calgary’s trendiest neighborhoods has its benefits. Our Starbucks has a rooftop patio, we have a restaurant dedicated to the Garlic and we even have liquor stores that are so posh that they close at 7pm on Friday nights. Of course this all comes with a price, literally. We pay some of the highest rents in Calgary. But it all seems worthwhile, once a year when our neighborhood is graced with the annual Lilac Festival.

This past Sunday morning I didn’t awake to normal peaceful noises that one is greeted with by living in Mission. Instead I awoke to slamming car doors, children crying and parents threatening to turn around and “go right home.” At first I thought that maybe a Chucky Cheese had opened up nearby over night, but I soon remember that the Lilac Festival was upon us, which meant that parents had an easy and free excuse to inflict their children and double wide strollers upon our normally peaceful neighborhood.

I decided that I should get up and enjoy the day. I went out to my balcony to with my fresh Fruit Loops and did a little people watching. It’s amazing what one witnesses when people don’t know they are being watched. In between those 20-somethings doing the walk of shame, there were the aforementioned “happy” parents with their kids in tow. Across the street unknowing people were getting parking tickets from perhaps the unfriendliest of city employees. (It was a Sunday after all.) Then there were those who felt the need to drive down from the exclusive Mount Royal district and ignore the neighborhood boy who was selling Kool-Aid for a measly 25 cents.

After my breakfast I met some friends to do walk up and down 4th street to take in all the sites the festival has to offer. While walking my friends and I came up with a list of questions of things that puzzled us.

1.How many times will someone get hit in the head by the floating balloon of the kid in front of them until they snap?
2. Why is that people are fine walking in order until they see someone they know and decidd to stop and talk to them, thus ignoring the 1000s of people that were just walking behind them.
3. How come mini-doughnuts are just simply amazing anytime of year?
4.If the entire of city shows up for the Lilac Festival, who the heck is running the rest of the city?
5. Why can’t OJ’s always have an outdoor Beach Volleyball court?

The Lilac festival as always was….busy. I don’t really remember what I saw, mostly just a lot of people and stub many a toe. But with such a large turn out it certainly seemed that parent’s threats to turn “right around” were as empty the neighborhood boy’s pockets after trying to sell his Kool-Aid. Either way by 7pm the peaceful neighborhood that is Mission was returned to us, nearly as good as new. To the residents of Calgary, thank you for enjoying Mission, please don’t come back until next year, we quite like our quiet Sunday mornings.

>Alright, here’s the embarrasing story.

I live a pretty tame life. I do lot’s of exciting things, but they are always planned and well orchestrated. I’m about as spontaneous as a giant sea turtle.

Lately I have become increasingly annoyed with my safe and well thought out lifestyle. I’ve been telling myself to be more daring and exciting. Apart from last week when I didn’t shower for two days, my personal challenge hadn’t been going well.

Well last night at the Killer’s concert I decided enough was enough and challenged myself to be daring. Thanks to my friend Matt we had great seats that were just below the box seats. Which means we had fairly access to them. During my quick jaunt to the bathroom I passed a box that was full of crazy partiers. I decided that this would be my daring moment. I scooted into the room and tried to blend in. The Killers playing in the background set the party mood perfectly and I started chatting with people. After a couple of awkward minutes of conversation I noticed an unguarded table with dozens of cans of beer.

Now maybe it was because there was so much “pot” being smoked in the Stadium that I, by no fault of my own, became dizzingly high, but I wanted that beer. Not necessarily the beer itself, but I wanted to steal that beer.

I wrapped up my conversation and made my way towards the door. On my way my body leaned ever so slightly to grab a can….SUCCESS. The can was in my possession! Just as I was about to leave the box, a man shouted, “Hey, YOU!”

I turned around ever so slightly. The dialogue went as follows:

“You stealing a beer?” Shouted the stalky middle aged mine

“Ummm” realizing I was screwed “yes?”

“You can’t steal a can of beer!”

“oh I know…oh gosh, I’m so so so sorry, I just…..”

“No dude, you can’t steal beer from a can, you need to put it in a glass!” As he smacked me in the back of the head.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’m from the maritimes.” I don’t how that was going to help.

“Obviously you are from the maritimes, I knew that the second you tried to steal my beer.” He hits me again.

“Sir, I’m sooo sorry, here, I’ll put it back.”

“No your not putting it back, hold on, i’ll get you a glass” He starts looking around

“No no no, really I’m fine. I was just….”

“Hey! Stop whining I’m getting you free beer” And yet another smack.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry.”

He disappears for a couple of seconds. Before returning with a plastic cup.

“Here take this, I don’t want you to get in trouble for having a can” My head is actually getting sore from the repeated hits.

“Are you sure…man, I feel so stupid!”

” You should, you tried to steal a Coors-Light.!” One last smack, for good measure.

“yeah…thank you…and sorry“

I slunked away. Feeling lower than low. But at the same time a little bit of a rush. I, for the first time in my life, felt like a real bad ass. Some would say, a resident bad ass! Sure I only tried to steal a can of beer and ended up getting horribly caught, but still. Relatively, for me, I was a bad ass.

I ended up giving my beer to my friend. I had worked hard for it, but frankly my head hurt way to much to start drinking any more.

>I’m waaaay too tired to talk about it now, but sometime on Friday I’ll post about how at the Killers concert I expereienced one of my top 5 most embarassing moments of my life.

Here’s some clues, guess if you want.

It involves….
-beer
-me trying to steal for the first time
-get “high” by association
-getting hit in the head upwards of 5 times

Stay tuned

>I don’t consider myself a genius. I got good marks in university, but that mostly because of bribery and general trickery.

I do consider myself street smart. I like to think that I’m usually ahead of the “game” and can foresee potential problematic situations.

That was until last night.

Calgary’s weather is weird. It will be beautiful and sunny 1 day, and cold and snowy that night. Yesterday was no exception. When I got home last night I knew it was supposed to snow. Being street smart like I am, I said to myself, “park you car under the trees, that way you won’t get get on your car.” Oh Michael you sly fox, you are so smart. Park your fun little car under the giant trees that are full of leaves to protect the car from the heavy snow.

This morning I awoke to this……..

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Dear Blake Lewis,

I’m sorry that you lost. Really it must have been tough to lose in front of so many people. However, before you start doing your post-idol press, please note that you are not allowed to say the following: “I’m really glad that Jordin won, because now I can put out the record I want to.” This is a giant pet peeve of mine. You can’t bash what kind of music Idol produces and try out for the show. It’s not allowed. You can be secretly grateful, but keep your mouth shut.

Love,
Mike

ps. congrats Jordin. Please join the ranks of Rubin, Fantasia and Taylor.

>Available on The Q.
***check out my first professional photo shoot results***

The stories of vandalism coming out of this past long weekend are nothing new. For as long as there has been puberty, teenagers seem to innately want to vandalize. It is in their blood. When I was a teenager, I was wrote my name backwards on the chalkboard at school. That is why I’m not shocked to hear about the chaos that went down in the campgrounds west of Calgary.

What’s shocking to me is where it happened. I mean seriously who goes camping at a place called Indian Graves? And I do not mean to disrespect anyone, but I personally try to keep it a general rule of thumb not to go camping anywhere that has the words grave, cemetery in its title. I’m naturally cautious of anything that might lead to me to conclude that there is a corpse lying anywhere near me.

What happened to camp ground names like Evergreen, Open Lake, or Breezy Bay. In New Brunswick, I know they have a campground called Yogi Bear campground. Now doesn’t that sound like a much nicer place to take your family?

In respect to the vandalism that took place at the Indian Graves campground, shouldn’t someone have become suspicious when these teenagers moved in with a U-Haul? How else do you explain how they were able to bring in couches, chairs, tons of camping gear? Also to the teenagers who decided to leave all this stuff behind, please be more considerate next time. All my friends and I all have a standing agreement that before they go and burn their furniture and cars that they call me first. They know how much I pay for rent, and that doesn’t leave much money for such luxuries such as chairs or a kitchen table. It’s common decency to call your poor friends first.

After years of watching Degrassi, I’ve learned that being a teenager is a learning process. So if the kids from this past weekend are to learn anything, it’s this: Please call me before you go and vandalize things I would love to have in my apartment. Also, find a less creepy place to camp. I can give you the number of Yogi Bear camp if you want.