Mike's Bloggity Blog

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Welcome to the club Jack!

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Also available on The Q

Do you remember watching Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine? The filmmaker made a point of how violence obsessed the United States were compared to Canada. He even paid our country a visit to futher drive home his point. But after reviewing last week Canadian TV ratings, I can’t help but think that maybe Michael Moore spoke too soon.

Did you know that 3 of Canada’s most watched shows last week contained the letters C, S, I. And no, unfortunately, one of the shows wasn’t Veronica Mars. That’s right. The original CSI, CSI: Miami and CSI: NY all place at or near the top of ratings chart. Two of them even placed higher then American Idol. Seeing these numbers make me wonder: Why is Canada so crime obsessed?

Maybe it is because most of us don’t have to live with it everyday. Maybe it’s so we can escape our safe world, where we leave our house doors unlocked or know that if we misplace our cellphones, we’ll probably get it back. But isn’t watching at least 3 to 4 murders a week enough?

When comparing the Canadian results to our American counterparts, only the original CSI places in the Top 5. In 5th place to be exact. CSI: Miami is right behind it in 6th. But Michael Moore told us that the American are crime obsessed, so that explains why they watch it, but us? With so much to choose from including Corner Gas and…..um. Hmm, it doesn’t look good. But then again maybe that’s it, maybe Canadian TV is so bad, that the only way the viewers can find refuge is to watch David Curuso cheese his way through the Miami lagoons.

What happened to the days when Road to Avonlea ruled the airwaves? Nowadays we would rather watch poor Sarah Stanley get all chopped up instead of chasing dreamy Felix down a red dirt road. Nice Canada, very classy stuff. I guess the 3.4 million Canadians that watched CSI last week, really have nothing better to watch, or do for that matter.

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Tonight on American Idol, the producers realized they have picked a crap load of cappy guys and so they decide to fill our heads not with music, but useless information. Kinda like high school, but with commericial.

Phil baby daddy Stacey is up first. During his bio clip, he is shown to have been a member, apparently, of the Village People. He also plays the 9/11 card. Nice move Phil, nice move. You know what is not a nice move? Singing “Missing You”. What makes me mad about this is, is that at some point this week Phil actually thought this would be a good song to sing. What a boring way to start the show.

During the commercial I flipped to NBC, sure it’s Dateline. But it is Dateline: Pedophile House. You know the one, where they set up perverts in only a way reality tv fans will like. I’m glad they are catching these guys, but why do I find it so funny?

But I digress, back to American Idol…..

Oh good in the CocaCola moment Sundance says he is not going to try to sing “crappy”. Great Sundance) , thanks, you are definitely Top 10 worthy.

Jared Cotter is trying to get it on. Why can’t these guys sing exciting songs? I mean obviously this guy can sing, he wouldn’t be here if he couldn’t,(Sundance) but would it kill them to bring a little excitement to the stage. Also he is wearing white sneakers and regular viewers will know that how that makes me feel.

I liked when Ryan Seacrest pretended to have done things to “that song.” Me and you both Seacrest, me and you both.

AJ Tabalado is up next with…….. a ballad! Yes! We are so lucky. Let’s check in with the pedophiles…..both are disturbing, but I’m going to have to side with AJ. He actually did come through in the end. Does anyone else feel that maybe AJ is getting sponsored by Crest White Strips?

Speaking of white teeth, Sanjaya Malakar is up next. I like that he changed his look up. He needs to look a little bit older. But to be fair, he does kinda look like he belongs over on Dateline. This is FOX right? Is singing on pitch a compliment at this point of the competition. Also, I can’t be the only that notice that the audience barely muffled a boo. Sanjaya defended his song choice by playing the “Grandfather Card”. Cat loving secretaries around the world will be voting for him tonight.

Chris awkward comedic timing Sligh is up next. Woah Chris’ wife is hot! You are right Chris, I have no idea how you got her to marry you! There is hope for me yet. (sigh) Chris probably has my favorite guy voice in the competition and he has interesting song selection, but this early on, you need to pick songs that people will remember. Chris, I discussed this last week on my blog, why don’t you listen? Why Chris? why?

Holy Shit, someone needs to tell Nicholas Pedro that he is dating his long lost sister! Seriously, I would want to know that. “Fever” is one of my favorite songs, and Nicholas did a great job with it. He made it his own and was waaaaaaaaaay better than last week. Simon was snapping and Pauling was convulsing. That’s gotta be good, right?

I’ll admit it, Blake Lewis was the only performer that I was excited to see tonight. He brings a certain amount of unpredictability to the stage. By choosing to sing Virtual Insanity, Blake shows that he is reading my blog. Thanks Blake, I’ll send you an autograph. He isn’t the best singer, but he is super talented! This is by far the performance to beat…until tomorrow. Personal note: I think Blake would be good singing some Maroon 5.

Brandon Rogers is going old school with some Cyndi Lauper. Has anyone ever heard the Matchbox 20 version of this song? Top 5 for sure. Oh wait, back to Brandon. Yeah he is doing good. I’m still trying to figure out how he is 29 years old? I would have said maximum 23. Did the earth just get cold? I agreed with Paula! We also learned alot about Simon tonight. He likes
puppies and his mom’s birthday is in November.

Justin Timb um, I mean Chris Richardson is up next. I was a little worried when he came out without a microphone. But there was a stand there, that could have been bad. You wouldthink when smart ass people like me are making the obvious comparison with him and the former NSYNCer, he would stray away from Justin type material. But he embraces it. It will be interesting to see how this works out! But I enjoyed it none the less.

My arch nemisis is up next. Sundance has a kid. This makes me like him even less. For me it would be like if Jim Belushi had a kid. One evil creates another. Sundance sings “Mustang Sally” This is soooooo ironic, but everyone knows that I call my little Saturn Ion Sally. This is a spit in the face Sundance, a spit in the face. You know how I feel about Sally, I love her and you singing this song is your attempt to come in between us. Well it won’t work Sundance. It will not. So he is singing maybe the easiest song ever. Come on, who couldn’t sing this song, I mean besides dead people and mutes. But even still, I’d rather watch them then this guy. Chump.

Should go home: Sundanceand Sunjaya

Will go home: Aj and Jared.

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>So like Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursday my TV schedule is full for the night. I’m pretty sure I could be doing something more productive with my life, like adopting an Kenyan baby or going to Rehab, but why?

Tonight things start with the last Veronica Mars for 6 or 7 weeks. But we will find out who killed Dean O’Dell, so I guess that makes up for it. I think Hank Landry is the obvious guess, and this show usually doesn’t go with the obvious. I think Tim might have something to do with it. He has been missing in action the last couple of weeks so look for him to make a big return tonight.
(Also, I’m not ready to discuss that Veronica is being pushed aside for the PussyCat Dolls reality show.)

After American Idol, Fox begins it’s 3 night premiere of Are you smarter than a 5th Grader. I’ll probably watch this show just once, just so I can see host Jeff Foxworthy prove that he is, as we all expected, not even smarter than a 1st grader. (Hi Zach!) Oh Jeff, I might have someone who can be on your show. His name is Sundance, he should be available after Thursday. I’ll get his people to call yours.

>So Rainne Wilson hosted SNL this past weekend. And I MISSED it! Ugh.

Thanks to Youtube, I can still watch highlights.

Check this out:

The Office + SNL = Drool, Drool. (Erin and Joanna You’ll LOVE this!)

>Oscar Night Report

Also Available on The Q

The Oscars have always been important. They represent for moviegoers a night where we can all sit around the TV and watch one of the most prestigious awards ceremonies around. It also allows us the opportunity to figure why we’ve never heard of most of the movies nominated and where we will ever be able to see the winning short film, animated or not.

Tonight’s nearly 4 hour ceremony offered up one of the most exciting, dynamic and internationally renowned in Oscars history. As an audience we watched host Ellen Degeneres whisk us through the awards. The reason that Ellen worked as a host was because she always represents her fans. If you had the chance to meet Clint Eastwood, wouldn’t you ask for an autograph? Or give Scorsese your screenplay? She captures our feelings and excitement towards the biggest movie stars in the world and does it all without imposing on them. Unless you count vacumming up Penelope Cruz’s dress imposing. I mean really who doesn’t love Ellen.

So now that the big show is done and Beyonce can finally stop living in Jennifer Hudson’s shadow, it is time to reflect.

For me, several things about the Oscars worked. For every awkward shot of Jerry Seinfeld, Leonardo Dicaprio or Clint Eastwood’s daughter…I mean girlfriend, there were lots of great shots of the hilarious Meryl Streep and the striking Helen Mirren. For the record, although tt was great to see her win for The Queen, it still didn’t help me forget that she starred in Teaching Mrs. Tingle. The same to Forest Whitiker, The Panic Room will not be forgotten.

Speaking of awkward, I’m still trying to figure out what was going on during the Best Costume portion of the evening. Although I did enjoy listening to Anne Hatheway trying not to laugh at the characters wearing the costumes, I think it was the fake Eddie Murphy singing into his hand that put her over the edge. To top it off, the eventual winner of the award called the Oscar statue a doll, maybe that’s why Michael Jackson has always wanted one? (A low blow? Discuss.)

My favorite movie of the year, Pan’s Labrynth, did quite well for a movie that most people outside of Entertainment Weekly’s subscriber list have not heard of. Although, it was robbed of it’s Best Foreign picture Oscar by a movie called…um…oh…that’s not good.

Another one of my favorite movies, Little Children, went home empty handed. But I wanted to take this moment to remind all of you to see it. It is an amazing movie and will leave thinking, but not in the same way that Reno 911: Miami did. Please see it. (Little Children, not Reno 911:Miami)

Other highlights for me included, Will Ferrell, John C Reilly and Jack Black’s hilarious song. It’s true, comedy usually doesn’t have a place in the Oscars. Unless, like me, you found the sight of Eastwood’s girlfriend wiping off his crotch during Martin Scorsese’s Best Director speech funny. Also, watching Peter O’Toole pretend he knew who Jack Black was, is proof alone of why is such a talented actor. The adorable Abigal Breslin and the impatient Jayden Smith practically stole the show. And when someone can explain to me how those silhouette dancers were able to form all those representations of different movies, I would much appreciate it. Well done!

I’m still unsure how I feel about the Elements in Motion piece. That was the one that showed the choir that did all the different sound effects. I found it creepy, but then I got to thinking about the auditions to join such a choir. What would they entail? It struck me as funny. It still does.

So with the Oscars done for another year, I think back on the events of the evening with fondness. There were no incredibly boring moments. There were some boring moments, but none of them incredible. As predictable as they may have been, I’m happy about the winners and even happier that Jennifer Hudson got the opportunity to put American Idol far far away from her. I just imagine Bucky Covington plotting his own Hudson type comeback. It would probably be called Dreamhicks. Hey Bucky, talk to Marty Scorsese, I hear he takes scripts from anyone.

Good Night dear Oscar, can’t wait until next year. (Hopefully Phillip Seymore Hoffman will have time to find a brush by then.)

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Also….There was a real fun Oscar live blog going on during the Oscars (obviously). I didn’t find it till near the end of the ceremony, but it was still fun to read afterwards.

Check out it at….. http://husteensworld.blogspot.com/2007/02/oscars-2007-live-blogging-event.html

>Also available on The Q

Going to the movies is not what it used to be. But this isn’t new. For years we have been dealing with cellphones, chair kickers, multi-bathroom trippers and my personal favorite the teenage date. You know the ones, where it is the boy and his 6 friends and the girl and her 6 friends. At first they start off divided by the couple sitting in the middle. Throughout the movie the boys and girls start switching seats until they have all paired off. But do they do this quietly? No, they have to make us much noise as possible, because that is what teenagers do. I never understood why.

That is why in Calgary, when you are planning on going to a movie a certain amount of planning is required.

Living in the south west I have several choices for theatres made available to me near the downtown area. There is the monstrous always busy Paramount Theatres in Chinook Centre, there is the cinemas in Westhills with what I consider the most comfortable seats this side of my living room. Who could forget the Globe and the Uptown theatres downtown, located several blocks from Empire Theatres in Eau Claire.

With so many theatres, it only makes a movie goers decisions even harder.

Going to Paramount in the Chinook Centre requires patience, lots of it. Whether it is the one set of escalators that never work. The ridiculously long lines to buy tickets and your popcorn (thanks no doubt to the worker shortage) or the always empty popcorn flavor containers. And that’s before you’ve even gotten to your seat! That is why I save Chinook for the event pictures. Or anything that has a 50% or less rating on Rotten Tomatoes. (www.rottentomatoes.com) There is no doubt that the set up at Chinook is high tech. I loved watching V for Vandetta and Harry Potter on the Imax screens. But Chinook is infested with those creatures that have plagued the earth for years. Teenagers. They are everywhere. Playing video games, butting lines and making out in line. Ok, so maybe I’m a little jealous of the making out part, but I’ve come there to spend my hard earned money and these teenages often impede on this. That is why when I go, I don’t really care what I see, because I’m expecting to be distracted by a flurry of activity.

So where do you go when you actual want to watch the movie? Well I go to the Uptown or the Globe. Places like that are perfect for people who actually love movies! Let alone the fact that the movies that play there are usually destined for Oscar stardom. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad movie there. But my favorite part about movies at the Globe and Uptown? They are single moviegoer friendly.

Since moving to Calgary, I’ve become more and more accostumed to watchng movies alone. Sometimes on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon there is nothing more relaxing than seeing a really great movie….by yourself. Anytime I’ve ever gone to the downtown cinemas I’m never the only person there alone. Fellow film buffs like myself, enjoying the movie, the creaky chairs and the usually teenager free zone.

But I’m still relatively new to the city. Maybe there are secret theatres that I have yet to discover. So like a good movie mystery, I’ll keep looking, but until the summer movie season begins, don’t expect me to be any where near Chinook, or teenagers.

>I have never in my life seen a direct to video/dvd movie. Ever. They are usually awful and obviously there is a reason why they are not being shown in theatres right? Well the other day I saw a preview (see below) for the Direct to DVD “sequel” to Open Water 2: Adrift. In theory this is a sequel to the Open Water movie, the one about the abandoned scuba divers. But in reality, one has nothing to do with the other, other than they both take place in water.

After watching the preview I couldn’t shake it from my mind, it really got to me. The movie is about 6 friends that go sailing on a yacht. They all decide to go for a swim and forget to put down the ladder, so it become clear pretty quick that none of them get back on the huge boat. Could this really happen? It says based on true events, so yeah I guess it did.

So after pretty much the most stressful week of my professional life, I decided that I would go to Casablanca video and rent Open Water 2. To no surprise there were only 2 copies in the store, and they were both available! My lucky day!

So after downing a couple rye and cokes and reading my friends play…ironically called Drift, I popped in the DVD and wasn’t expecting much.

I don’t know if it was because my expectations were low, or because I was/am drunk, but I really enjoyed this movie. Perhaps it had something to do with my upcoming Hawaiian vacation, but I found this movie to be exciting, suspenseful and there were surprisingly…well…a couple of surprises. (duh!)

If you are anything like my friend Vanessa, and you have literally seen every movie at Blockbuster I recommend this one. It will most likely be available (I don’t have that big of a following), and for what it is worth, it gets my approval.

As an added bonus, Eric Dane (McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy) is in it, and let’s just say…it’s…revealing.

Check out the trailer below, if you’ve seen it, or will be seeing it, let me know!

>This weekend is OSCAR weekend! The good thing about living on the West Coast and having friends with a satelitte is that the Oscars will start at 5pm here! Yeah!

So here is my list of who I’d LOVE to see win, some of them I know won’t. But a bald boy can dream can’t he?

Best Picture: Little Miss Sunshine
Best Actress: Kate Winslett (my heart is still broken from Little Children)
Best Actor: Ryan Gosling (Only because I want him to give a shout out to Breaker High)
Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson (I still haven’t found my socks from them being knocked off)
Best Supporting Actor: Jackie Earle Haley (The creepiest son of bitch around. Seriously, why hasn’t anyone seen Little Children)
Best Director: Scorsese (Because sometimes you just have to do the right thing! Ask Lucci)